Wednesday April 30: I go to the bank (Piccadilly Circus branch unless otherwise specified). I transfer $SUM from my current account to my cash isa.
Tuesday May 2nd: I go to the bank. I discover that $SUM is not in my cash isa, and is not in my current account either. I am told that this is because I need to re-activate my cash isa, and that the money will bounce back. I fill in a form doing this.
Friday May 9th?: I go to the bank. I see that $SUM has been removed from my current account twice, but has only arrived in my cash ISA once.
Tuesday May 13th: I go to the bank. $SUM is still missing. I am assured it will be sorted out by the end of the week. They take my phone number and promise to phone me. They do not.
Friday May 16th: I do not go to the bank at lunchtime. I go to the comic shop in the evening. My card is declined. Twice. I am embarrassed.
Saturday May 17th: Needing some money now I have discovered my debit card doesn't work, I go to the St James Piccadilly branch and get some out there from my savings account. Apparently they raise a query. I also raise my overdraft limit on the current account.
Monday May 19th: I go to the bank. They still do not know where my money is or what happened to it or when I will get it back. I am told that nobody in the branch that day has authorisation to give me my money back. I am told I will be phoned back before 4.30pm. I am phoned at about 5pm. Still no answers.
Tuesday May 20th: I am phoned at about 11.30am. There is still no explanation as to what happened to my money, or when it will come back.
Friday May 23rd: Go into bank at lunchtime. No news.
Tuesday May 27th: Phone call from St James Piccadilly branch. No news.
Wednesday May 28th: Phone call from St James Piccadilly branch. Money is supposedly back in my account.