I have decided to rename all the months. The existing system makes no sense at all and is discriminatory.
We have January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
People familiar with Latin will notice that "decem" means 10, "novem" means 9, "octo" means 8, "septem" means 7. These are clearly absurd - these month names have not been updated for the introduction of January and February (there used to be a long winter period not considered part of any month). Additionally, some of the months are named after Roman gods, but none after any other pantheons. This is clearly not acceptable in the modern multi-cultural world. The naming of July and August after dictators is clearly also wrong - I hope by abolishing references to dictators in my new month names I will be able to gain the support of the U.S. government
So, here is my new system
*September (previously July)
*October (previously August)
*November (previously September)
*December (previously October)
*Jesusember (named for Jesus from Mormonism)
Additionally, all months shall have the alternate name of "Bob".