Tennis (Abolition) Decree 2005

08:55 pm: Tennis (Abolition) Decree 2005
WHEREAS, the infernal game of Tennis is infesting our Television and Radio Recievers, and it is expedient to prevent this, and WHEREAS no Player from these Islands stands a Whelk's chance in a Supernova, the Empress Morwen hereby DECREES as follows

(1) the practice of Tennis shall be abolished.

(2) any Person found guilty of playing Tennis shall be sentenced to 15, 30 or 40 years in Prison.

(3) this Decree may be cited as the Tennis (Abolition) Decree 2005

(4) this Decree shall apply to England and Wales only

Tags: fun

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Comments

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

From:	abigailb
Date:	June 30th, 2005 01:10 pm (UTC)

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we've got to show these tennis players they've met their match.

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From:	ellyll
Date:	June 30th, 2005 01:11 pm (UTC)

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Can we amend it to include all sport?

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From:	fluffymormegil
Date:	July 1st, 2005 12:08 am (UTC)

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No. *looks at the cricket scores*

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(no subject) - (Anonymous)

From:	fluffymormegil
Date:	July 1st, 2005 12:09 am (UTC)

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Blair's government is more socialist than his left-wing detractors will admit.

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From:	bluedevi
Date:	June 30th, 2005 01:21 pm (UTC)

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All hail Empress Morwen!

(good job you didn't sound so impressively authoritative over in my journal, or I'd be dropping boxes of books and clothes on random streets As We Speak...)

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From:	abigailb
Date:	June 30th, 2005 01:25 pm (UTC)

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At least now I know what sort of language to use next time I have a mandatory party!

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From:	jisha78
Date:	June 30th, 2005 02:23 pm (UTC)

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I concur and add my support to this most worthy proposal.

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From:	hairyears
Date:	June 30th, 2005 05:42 pm (UTC)

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And why would anyone object to nonstop close-up coverage of shapely women of ambiguous sexuality engaged in ecstatic sweaty physical exertion whilst wearing short skirts?

Moral hazard?

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From:	haloj
Date:	July 1st, 2005 02:31 am (UTC)

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Love is Tennis. :P

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From:	spindr
Date:	July 1st, 2005 05:29 am (UTC)

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You silly, silly girl. /condescension

Tennis is great. There need be no further discussion. ;)

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From:	abigailb
Date:	July 1st, 2005 05:41 am (UTC)

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I see the tense is going to have a bit of getting used to. Tennis was great (and even then I disagree)

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From:	katsmeat
Date:	July 1st, 2005 08:23 am (UTC)

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By 'was', do you mean when they still played it indoors, you could bounce shots of the side galleries and the court had things called a tambour, a service penthouse and a dedans.

Not this newfangled, Victorian nonsense that's played outside on a lawn.

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